A Moment of PFLAG Portland Joy is a place where our members can anonymously share meaningful experiences they’ve had as an LGBTQ+ person or someone special to an LGBTQ+ person. Let us know at info@pflagpdx.org if you have a story you’d like to share.
Forty years ago, as a forty-year-old single mom with a gay son, I attended my first PFLAG meeting, held at a First United Methodist Church in Portland.
Entering a room full of parents and parent couples, much older than myself, who accepted their gay and lesbian adult children somehow felt familiar and comforting. Though I was no longer church affiliated, my childhood religious experience was with a conservative small town Presbyterian church. The chapter’s founding couples, Ann and Bill Shepherd and Rita and Chuck Knapp, could easily have been my childhood church elders. The room was filled with parents, their children, and those with and without family support. I quickly learned there was room for all stripes in this “PFLAG family” with a full-hearted openness to listen and learn from one another.
Over the next twenty years, I became heavily involved with PFLAG’s mission, learning and growing each step of the way. The AIDS epidemic was young and dangerous in the mid-80s, and our families were deeply affected by the ignorance and vitriol coming from the conservative right. Throughout many years (and tears), there were heinous legal attacks from the right in Oregon, resulting in several anti-gay ballot measures. PFLAGers were active in the fight against all of them. These battles cemented the importance of our active allied voices.
Then, more than 25 years ago, the “T” joined the “LGB,” and our attention began to turn to the importance of supporting transgender people and their families. Eventually, “I”(Intersex) came into our orbit at a 2006 NW Regional Conference with a local activist leading a dedicated workshop. The years have marched on. Our PFLAG Family has expanded, and the listening and learning continues.
Twenty years ago, I faced an advanced cancer diagnosis and extensive treatment. My involvement with PFLAG was sidetracked, and my attention turned to health care and aging. This is my 80th birth year, and my health and energies are better than many my age. I am more than grateful to medical science!
Now, the outcome of the 2024 election is upon us, and with many of its unending threats to our freedoms, I have chosen to become a more informed and stronger ally to the trans community. Of course, PFLAG was my first stop and with that—countless moments of joy!
I have attended a few meetings and celebrations after many years not attending and am heartened and—yes—joyous to know the chapter is active and growing with compassionate and strong leaders. Parents of trans children and trans people are fully included and embraced. This to me is the power and joy of PFLAG—love and hope for our PFLAG family, for the community, for the nation and the world.
What could be more joyous!